Office humor and the absence of animals.

At my office, every day is guaranteed to have a hilariously ridiculous dialog thrown in... somewhere. That's just really the way it goes here. You have to have a whack job sense of humor to work here. I've reiterated a few of my daily conversations to my pals, and one of them suggested, "HEY! Blog it!"

So... this is what I am doing!

We'll start with this piece, it happened a few weeks ago. The back-story of this one is that we were having a conversation about the women of the H-town office. They were bickering and fighting, CCing The Boss Man on all of their emails and squabbling like banshees into his blackberry. I got the bright idea to capture the tail end of our conversation about it afterwards, and although I missed the bulk of it, I figured what I had was enough for anyone to read and giggle. I wish I had the exact quote that had to do with procuring a full time gynecologist and Dr. Phil to be on site at all times for the women savages that work in the H-town office.

C- …I guess, I don’t know. Virginia’s cool… to me. Some People don’t like Mrs. Doubtfire*.

Smiley**- Oh yeah?

C- Yeah, maybe because she makes them eat their peas, I don’t know.

Smiley- Mmmhmm.

C- Y’all know more about this woman thing than I do... It’s a bad deal. Its scary. There are no animals within a five acre block of that office. Animals are scared, just like they know there’s an earthquake coming or something.

Smiley- giggling- he talking about them animals, ha-ha!

C- No animals... birds don’t fly around that building. Next time you’re there, just notice. I stood out there just yesterday, and I wonder why there are no birds… chirping… you got to get out to the other side of the yard and you can see the birds, I looked for opossum signs, there’s no opossums, there’s no… what the hell is going on with that? And you know I was out there trying to find a frog for you***, I had to go to the other side to find a frog... frogs are plentiful! There’s a creek right by the car wash, the wash bay… no frogs there! Not on that property... So what is it? you’re just looking at me like I’m crazy. But… It’s a bad deal. Man. The good lord even says… Oh... I don’t know, I cant help you with that!

Agent 99****: you’re silly.

[-/end recording-]

*Mrs. Doubtfire isn't a savage, she was brought in to try to wrangle and tame the banshee clique. She's pretty radical, and she is a horsewoman like me.

**Smiley is called Smiley because she is always happy, always smiling, and probably also because she has two gold teeth. She is pretty much always a bright ray of sunshine, personality wise.

***A few days before this, I was incredibly IRATE because one of our company's silly bean counters was blatantly WRONG about something and was arguing with me about it, despite incredible proof that she was wrong. I kept emailing C and blowing up his blackberry with my momentary banshee blathering. He told me that the best thing to make me feel better would be to go outside, find a frog, and pee on it. After all, frogs pee on us any chance that they get, so it does makes sense.es

**** My code name is derived from the spy spoof television show, Get Smart! C thinks that I remind him of/am a lot like Barbara Feldon's character in demeanor. -shrug- It makes for a catchy alias.